


southwest hot dog salad

by crowcrow (orphan_account)



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: M/M, morgan does the cooking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-07-18 13:29:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16119443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/crowcrow
Summary: reid comes home from a long day catching murderers, to find his beautiful husband morgan has cooked dinner! unfortunately, morgan has no tastebuds.





	southwest hot dog salad

reid choked back the dish, fighting tears as the mustard vinaigrette burned through his tastebuds. morgan looked at him expectantly. 

“so... how is it?” reid couldn’t lie to him, but he also couldn’t tell him the truth; the hot dog salad was the most disgusting thing on earth. but he couldn’t bear to break his husband’s heart. how could he ruin 5 years of marriage over one dinner? a dinner that would be coming up later, but still. 

he cleared his throat; once, twice, then forced the best smile he could. “it’s amazing,” he looked to the side, “babe.” 

reid could feel morgan’s eyes on him, and not in like... the sexy way; no, he was profiling him. reid shifted in his seat, trying not to show any of his “tells,” but he knew the very act would signal morgan immediately. 

“amazing, huh,” morgan squinted at him. then he did something reid would never forgot. something even he and his years of profiling couldn’t predict. 

morgan smiled. he turned towards the kitchen, leaving reid and the hot dog salad alone at the table. he heard him rummaging around through the drawers- probably for divorce papers because reid couldn’t tell one good lie. 

but what he brought out... was even worse. 

morgan held something- bright and silver, behind his back. (probably his tablet, and probably divorce papers). 

“well... since you liked the salad so much,” he pulled the object out from behind his back, one of those cloches that chefs use, “ i thought you’d like this too.” 

he pulled the cover, revealing a... surprisingly normal cake. red velvet, maybe, judging by the exterior. reid’s mouth fell open. “uh, wow, this actually looks pretty good-” morgan raised an eyebrow, “not as good as the salad of course.” 

“well...” morgan pulled out his chair, “bone app the teeth.” 

“actually it’s-“ reid shut his mouth. morgan had his “don’t actually me, boy” face, and reid knew he was already in hot water over the main meal. 

he stared down at the cake. it sure looked good, but reid knew looks could be deceiving. and with the previous dish setting a precedent, he couldn’t be too sure. but was he going to sleep on the couch for a week? he couldn’t. he had sensitive skin and they just bought a new sleep number; the kind that moves up and down. 

reid tentatively cut off a piece with his fork, staring at it for a second. it seemed to stare back. he gulped; it was now or never, and with morgan’s intense gaze, it had to be now. 

he took a bite and... it wasn’t bad? certainly an odd flavor for a cake but... it had layers. a little sweet, salty, almost italian? reid wasn’t quite sure how morgan could have made this. he was notorious for odd combinations (macaroni jello) and palate of an 80 year old man. 

“did,” reid swallowed, “did rossi make this.” 

this earned a derisive snort from his husband. “come on, rossi? i mean, don’t get me wrong, he’s good and all but,” he leaned forward, “this was all me baby boy.” reid squinted. 

“so... what is it?” he asked, already cutting into another slice. “it has the appearance of red velvet but lacks the distinctive chocolatey taste... you know, in world war two, the rationing of food caused red velvet to be dyed with beet j-“ 

“it’s ketchup.” 

“it’s what?” 

“ketchup,” morgan leaned back, seemingly unaware of the almost sacrilegious words he said, “found it online while i was making the salad; thought it’d be a good match.” 

reid felt tears well up in his eyes. this really was the sausage principle; if you love something, never find out how it was made. 

“thats, uh, certainly unique?” reid scoffed, “actually... for ketchup, it’s rather good.” 

morgan smiled. that beautiful smile that made reid fall in love with him all over again. made him feel like a teenager again. “thanks babe.” reid couldn’t help the grin that creeped onto his face. he looked down to hopefully hide his blush. 

“now,” morgan said, rising from his chair, “let’s go fool around on that new sleep number.” 

hell yeah.

**Author's Note:**

> thx 4 reading  
> hit that like button, subscribe + turn notifications on


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